Drugs ..beer ...hard stuff..guns.

For a home for boys you would think that we would be the cleanest place with no drugs, beer, liquor or guns...well the opposite was true...Every weekend we would hit the liquor store and if we couldn't get in...we head out to the beer store...and then ask someone to get it for us...For some reason..no one would get us liquor..most likely because it was run by the government and it had that official presence...but of all the people we asked no one would get us liquor....The beer store was easy...like I said one in ten would get us the beer ...Sometime we would drink it in the stairwell of the apartment building...but most of the time we just brought it home...we would keep the staff busy while someone just walked up the stairs with it...Once and awhile by accident we got caught....we got lax because it was just too easy...we stopped having look outs ..and had the music too loud..one staff walked in and couldn't believe it...we were sitting around and drinking beer..he closed the door and we all broke up laughing..oops busted...they keep on drinking now.... they were guzzling the beer down......the staff went and got the other staff and the ran in and told everyone to put their beer down...one guy said yeah right..and opened another...they had to pull it away from him as if it was a baby's bottle he wouldn't give it up. I usually didn't drink as One sip and I was toasted...but hung around the alcoholics..

Gary

Gary was one of the tough guys...he was big and funny thing was he spoke in a whisper as if he had to hoc a lung plug but it got stuck in his throat and he couldn't clear it...He got into a fight and something broke...Edward was having a board meeting in the garage that night and one of the staff ran over to get help as they couldn't break up the fight...You could feel Ed's presence before he even came into the house....a strange calm came over everyone ---the same quiet and stillness as you feel when a storm is approaching.....He bursted into the livingroom....and everyone hugged the walls....Ed went up to Gary ....You a tough guy....motioning towards the kid....No man...No man..as Gary hugged the wall further...putting his hand up trying to fend of a punch we all felt was to follow...Edward looked around at everyone watching him...he straightened up and went into his this is all for you guys speech...when you break something here..you are breaking part of your home...your house...we are all here for you guys...Man I never seen Ed have so much passion ---to bad he only felt this ..or expressed himself so intently for anyone hurting the home...but not having the same passion as someone hurting his charges...

Well with that..the next night Gary and a couple of us were heading off to the beer store...He tried to get in but the guy tagged him and asked him for ID..Gary said no problem.. left it in the car..be back later...so we then had to go to plan B..We asked anyone who was heading to the beer store if they wanted to make an easy 5 dollars....this was no big deal as out of 10 people we asked we got one....I have wondered since then whatever made people take the chance and buy us kids beer...what was funny was of all the different times we stood outside and asked we didn't have to wait long for someone to take us up on the Quick 5 dollars..hell sometimes the people would say don't worry about the 5 bucks...gee thanks...we would all say...and afterwards talk about the cool guy who turned down the $5 bucks....well anyway...on this night this guy says sure no problem...we give him the money for the beer plus the $5 bucks....we are watching as the 12 rolls down the rollers..and then horrified as the guy opens the 12 and takes out 2 beers and stuffs one each into his pocket then marches out of the store..he say here you go...I helped myself....we all started to question him...and he says hey...look you got your beer --what are you going to do call the cops because I ripped you off....and with that he turned and walked away laughing....Damn this guy didn't know who he was ripping off...we were not the average bunch of neighborhood kids....Gary was the first to react...he went up to the guy gave him 3 sharp blows in the back of the head.....another guy was reaching in and grabbing a bottle to smack the guy with...the guy must have sensed the situation was not over and without missing a beat he reached into his pockets and put the two beers on the ground and then put the $5 dollars under one of the beers and didn't turn back....he just kept on walking...We were all so surprized at the quick turn of events that we all broke up laughing...and with that we drank our beer and headed home..

Tyrone

Tyrone was a very loud kid...He was a ladies man...always on the phone talking to the girls...You would come in the house and the kids phone was under the stairs by the front door and while on the phone he would say...Hey...Hey...Enda really likes you...Enda? Enda who...He would then blurt out ENDA.........ENDA OF MY DICK...and he would laugh and laugh..he would tell ya the same joke and laugh just as hard as if it was the first time he told ya it....He was one of the kids invited over to Carol's house for Christmas dinner as he had no where to go. Carol was the secretary for Kennedy House who took a liking to all the boys at the home....She called me her 3rd child...and addressed herself as my second mom...She took Ty in as she felt that the boys should be in a family atmosphere for Christmas dinner....but poor Tyrone...he had a problem...while there..Carol's kids who were younger ,showed Tyrone their room...and Ty found their piggy bank...yup you guessed it he took the money..robbed the little kids of their birthday and christmas money. Gamblin the older black kid in Kennedy House smacked him and handed down the same type of Speech as Hector gave to the guy in the store when I was out with him as we witnessed a black guy stealing, and most likely Gamblin got the speech also from Hector as he also stoled Lloyds stereo...so Gamblin was passing down the same lesson maybe with a little too much force...He yelled at Ty, as he told him how he let himselft down and just proved what the white man said that all niggers were thieves...he had a responsibilty to show the world that he was just as good as any person...even better as He was Black...he told Tyrone that when he did anything to make himself look bad..he also made his brothers look bad too...Tyrone paid back the money over time...And as far as I knew didn't steal anything else..well as long as Gamblin was around anyway..I ran into Tyrone one day...a couple of years after...I gave him a ride home to his basement apartment..He asked me if he could borrow a $100.00 to help cover his upcoming rent..as he was a little short..I said sure..and he said that he would get paid next week and I could expect the money then...I called Ty the following week and he asked if I could wait til the following week........hmm...well I said that was it..no more ....as I recalled years earlier how he ripped off Carol's kids. But after another week...he finally said he had the money...I drove to his basement apartment and he was ready for bed...he had this stocking over his head...hmm. whats up..he said with what...he said that he put the stocking over his head and then used his pick to poke his hair through it...and with that he started pulling poking his hair through the nylon stocking...I asked him does all blacks do that...he said oh yeah..his gradma ma use to do it to him all the time...he started to talk about his family and how lonely he was...he climbed into bed while he was talking and asked me to stay til he fell asleep....I stayed there for 20 minutes til he was quiet...and then walked slowly and quietly out the door...Damn poor kid...Why the hell did Kennedy House just dump the kids out without support....

Barb

Barb another staff member..what can you say about Barb....she drove a pacer--well ok enough said eh...lol. Barb was a big girl..hey not as hefty as Kathy....She met a guy and they were going to get married...but as fate would have it..he died as he tried to pass a big truck on a winters day way up north..Barb came back to work at the house afterwards...but she couldn't do it anymore....so she left...I wonder how she has got along since then....

Edward--The last thing I do before cashing in chips--

It was a rough time I was going through. I was trying to sort out in my mind why are I behaving this way...and then as I was staring in deep thought...the whole incident of John on top of me came rushing back....damn.. I thought...so this is a repressed memory...I throw the cup of tea I had against the wall...swearing..with all my might I screamed GET OFF OF ME YOU FUCKING BASTARD!!..well Bobby a couple of years too late..why didn't you say that back then...? Wow more shame and guilt.... I have this whole abuse situation running through my mind while I try to carry on in the real world--For a time I can balance it out stopping the abnormal experiences while I have to tune into the real world to make an adjustment in my work--after awhile It became harder --and harder til- eventually the past was taking over. I started again doing my invisible act.afraid to look anyone in the eye as they might somehow know and see my shame..this time no one around to remind me how asurd I looked. I fell into a pit of depression--I couldn't eat...I never lost my baby fat...until now...I lost so much weight that I could stand straight and look down and see my feet. My body started to do weird things also.. I smelt formaldehyde all the time...I think it was my body breaking down the protein in my muscles to try and keep everything running...Well time to cash in my chips...I couldn't take it anymore...Once the decision was made things started to get better...all I had to do was tie up loose ends...and then do the deed...I started to give away my stuff....everyone who received the goods seemed happy..One last thing to do...I decided to tell Edward about the abuse in Kennedy house...I was worried that someone else would have to go through the mental and emotional pain as I did...I called Edward at the home and he was happy to see me...We went out to lunch ...I was going to take my car as I wanted to tell him then be able to sneak off in my own vehicle as I wanted to avoid the silence that sure was to follow driving back to the home., but Edward insisted that we take his car...Hey what the hell.......eh...So we did all the what have you been doing stuff....then we got down to what was on my mind...I started telling him that I was abused at the home...and just like when I borrowed his bike and hit the car...he really didn't want to hear the details....He said that we all had our burdens in life to carry.....He decided to one up me on how he had to shuffle through life with seeing his best friend killed at Kennedy road house while driving a tractor and it rolled over on him ..killing him instantly...Damn if I didn't start to feel sorry for Edward...He said that even though I might have gone through some tough times...they didn't come close to his woe as me story....did it...he asked.....I stumbled trying to tell him that my incident was hard on me as well...the image of the movie "JAWS" came to mind as they all started to show their scars and try to one up everyone on who had the worst scar....Edward took the winds out of my sails....He said you all heath...you are on your own...have a job..car...bank account..and you are not in jail...so as he saw it I, was doing pretty good..sure I might have one or two issues that crossed the line..don't blow the what happened out of control....he urged...as he also has his own baggage but life goes on...We drove back to the house...I shook his hand...and said goodbye....damn he didn't hear a word I said...That part bugged me...and even worse the people involved were not going to answer for their wrong doings....

Colleen the southern bell

Came home from school and saw a new car in the driveway..a red mgb..the car was so tiny and unique..the top was down allowing view into the interior..was that leather seats..and it had no back seat..wow what a sleek automobile..but their was more to this car the owner. I sprinted into the house eager to share with anyone about the find in the driveway, when I entered the kitchen and everyone was around this beautiful woman..needless to say I forgot about the car...I stood in awe as she spoke you could close your eyes and you felt like you were drifty on a cloud listening to her sweet southern accent, words and phrases like ..Well I do declare flowed out like sweet sunshine, on anyone else you would have thought it idiotic but when Colleen said it ...well it just seemed right. Double bonus as you opened your eyes and there she was long blond hair, California tan, and a pink sweater that held the biggest set of sweet breasts I ever seen, they were so big but like her voice they seemed just right...the cleavage would heave sweetly as she spoke --damn someone pinch me..is this a dream. Moving up to her neck was a pink Kerchief that I learned later she used to tie around her head as she drove her mgb we called them Hickey hiders, but I don't anyone would want to leave a bruise on this sweet peach. Wow EDWARD its about time you started hiring some good looking chicks...Unfortunately she was just passing through doing her College student placement. No one of the guys gave her any problems....(see Ed all you had to do was fill the house up with these cuties and you wouldn't have had the problems you did with your staff.) Time seemed to float buy when she was on...you actually looked forward to a staff shift change...there was this one time when she did pull me close...past the "no touch policy" implemented just for her..One eveing I was in the tv room and Colleen was In the staff office filling out the shift journal when a kid came running down the stairs yelling fight ...fight! He ran past me and into the kitchen..., the kid then ran back up stairs faster then he did coming down as if he would miss all the action in the attic....I went back to the tv room--seen and been in enough of those wasn't interested...just as I was about to sit down..Colleen was pulling on my shirt....I looked around and she said in her sweetest voice...she pleaded me to come upstairs with her...as she was scared...well didn't my balls grow ten fold...sure I said....I felt like a Knight going into battle with my princess on my arm....Well anyway we climbed up the stairs and she stopped before climbing the stairs to the attic...they were fighting alright..bang...boom..boop...f u you fing son of a bitch....she looked to me...you are coming up with me right..shaking her head as she answered for me....She slowly went up the stairs peering over the landing to catch a glimpse being ready for anything..she grabbed my shirt and pulled my right up to her butt..while her other hand grabbed the railing..she was choking me with my own shirt..but I had my face smushed right into her butt....hmmm, I could smell the sweetness, how could anyone smell this good...I bet my butt didn't offer this sent..I don't think anyone else's butt could...damn she was strong..I think I was nearing pass out as I had to grab her hand to loosen her grip on my shirt--she immediately grabbed my hand and hand in hand we reached the landing...she opened the door...and put my our hands behind her butt hiding the fact that she was holding my hand..my hand being squeezed of all the blood ...but hey it was on her butt again...take the good with the bad...With the door being open...the guys saw her and they stopped fighting..and started to yell out their stories he started ...no he did...they exchanged back and forth...they talked it out..and found out that any other guy took the guys shirt because he didn't have enough clothes to do a wash..(you couldn't just wash one shirt or one pair of pants--you had to have a full load--)so he just grabbed that guys clothes in his dirty clothes hamper to make a full load...oh..everyone breathed in unison..all was calm...Colleen and I went back downstairs...still clamping my hand...she got down the attic stairs and stopped ...she leaned against the wall...and to get her breath..she started to fan her face...trying to rush the air down into her lungs...her cleavage was pulsing up and down in erratic spasms..damn what a sight I thought...she finally caught her breath...Well I do declare, I am just plum tucker out...my heart is beating a mile a minute...........well it is..she added as if she thought I said it wasn't --she lifted my hand and put it up to her breast and said feel it beating....damn I all I could feel is her plump firm breaths as and her nipples piercing through her tight sweater from all the excitement...the only pulse I could feel was from my own member in my pants throbbing....I said no I can't feel your heart...she said in a huff...as if I just had to feel her heart ...she lifted her perky breast out of the way..and then placed my hand under it....damn well I did feel it.....it was beating a mile a minute just like she said...With that she let my hand go and we went back downstairs..she said I better write this up...and I went back to watching tv...Wow another adventure in Kennedy house the fun never stops.....After that I think the fight shook her up more then I thought as she decided to head out back home again...back to Georgia....Thanks for stopping by..and I could picture "the Beverly hillbillies show" as they are all out on the porch waving goodbye..we too were on the porch...Waving as she drove away...someone did the Uncle Jed line..."you all come back now ...Yaw hear..........................".

The Prejudice Black Lab

Well everyone old age home has one--a pet. So someone came up with idea to get a dog...a nice jet black lab..This dog had spirit it was all over the place..running around chasing leaves..loving all the attention from all the guys...yeah it was a good Idea..They even said they were going to do this right...they wanted to name the dog..so they asked everyone to come up with a name...and then everyone would vote on what to name the dog...Some names were expected and rejected right from the get go...they tried again..this time they said all names except swear words or female/male body parts...So there was normal names like Jet..and Blacky...others too...but the name that the majority voted on was tokey...WTF eh! I said come on..lets name it a normal dog name not anything to do with drugs...Well I was shouted down..and tokey stuck...What a funny dog..For some reason Hector demanded the dog be locked downstairs when he came in...I don't know if the dog didn't like him or Hector didn't like the dog....but as you know we lived right beside the High school so when all the kids where going to school ..tokey would be tied up in the front yard..and strain his leash whenever a black student walked by...the damn dog was barking and spitting..growling his teeth...One of the guys said a black dog thats hates black people..we had a mini debate wondering if that could be classified as being prejudice....all concluded that the dog was whacked..yup he fits in here just fine..as tokey was choking himself on his leash trying to sink his teeth into another black student walking by...Well needless to say tokey was tied up at the back ...but all he did was bark at the kids getting on and off the buses...One weekend one of the staff who had a yellow volkswagon bug...had to go up north to the winter races ...he was the guy in the sidecar on a motor bike..so since the only way to get to go.since he was scheduled to work....twoHe said that all guys that didn't have home visits that Saturday would drive up north with him so he could race...It was just three of us going...Me and Sammy and another guy...and yup couldn't leave tokey alone so he also made the trip with us....I got in..and after a hour on the road...tokey was going ape as this being his first long car trip...I was tried of getting stepped on..so I notice that the bug did have a little divider it was empty..I went back there..hey tight fit but ...I could read my book now without the pages getting slobbered on...So Sammy was now alone with tokey...he started to pet tokey and the dog seemed to settle down...After what seemed like forever we arrived at the race track....Sammy went to get out and he put his hand on the seat to brace himself so he could push himself out of the back seat of the vw-bug and his hand slipped...whoosh...all the way up to his elbow ...it was covered in white slim...I said Sammy what the hell is that gunk....he said he didn't know...Now the staff guy was getting pissed because he wanted to get to see his bike...and side car so he was telling everyone to hurry up and get out of the car....Tokey had his eyes down..and was whinnying....I looked at the dog and then at Sammy and then at tokey...I said hey Sammy what the hell where you doing to the dog?--did you whack off our pet dog in the back seat ..? No Sammy said still laughing with this sperm still dropping from his forearm...the dog must have liked the petting behind the ears..or something...I said yeah right...whatever eh...Sammy said you every tell anyone about this and I will flatten you ...do you got..it!! I laughed ...who the hell would ever believe it anyway...I found a shirt I was lying on and tossed it down on the seat and Sammy wiped it up...don't throw it back there..put it on the floor..I don't want to lie on that all the way home...So the guy does his race and of course he doesn't win..he says he had engine problems...and couldn't make the other races..so he said might as well get going....he had grease on his face from working on the bike....so as he was holding the seat for Sammy and me to get in the back..he picked up the old shirt and wiped his face...shit it happened way too fast ...I said don't use that...too late..he said why....I said ahh.. never mind...as Sammy elbowed me in the ribs...we got in and I went in the very back again...I said to Sammy don't pet the dog so hard this time ..ok..he likes it too much...lol--Sammy turns around and starts laughing too..I guess I am not going to be able to forget this car trip eh...Tokey ignored us and rolled over and fell asleep...yup at least he was a true male dog..

Hector--

I have never had any contact with a black person before...the only information on them was--not good. So I was surprised when I met Hector...He worked the night shift.......Since I fall asleep early--He started at 11pm, and would be gone by the time everyone woke up at 7am...So the only time I ever got to know him was on the weekends...He was a quite guy...skinny and his skin and hair was shiny like it was oiled..We passed each other through the door way and his hand touched mine...I said hey watch it....his hand was all oily..as I wiped it on my pants...the oil smelt like those packs of dried leaves stuff you see in some bathrooms....yuk...I said out loud...now some of the guys were getting in on this and started to say hey look where Hector was sitting there is a oil stain on the couch from his hair...and on they made fun of him...Everyone was playing risk and so we were all seated at the table and my chair was to the back of the office..All the sudden Hectors hand appeared with a butter knife with a big hunk of margin on it. He held it in front of my face not moving...everyone stopped playing and watched the show...I asked him what was he doing...he said nothing...thought maybe you could use some oil on your skin as it looked dry....hmm, ok Hector whatever....I said you had your fun .....now please let us carryon playing risk...He just stood over me with the hunk of margin moving closer to my face....I said if that touches me.....just then he mushed the margin into my face....I jumped up and grabbed him....damn he was slick...I couldn't even hold him...I held his arm and my hand slipped off of him....So I went to the bathroom and cleaned the margin off my face...the risk game was over as in the pushing match the table got knocked and all the risk pieces got knocked....game over..After that Hector started to wake me up for school with a glass of water...not everday just once and awhile...I made a hammer at school in machine shop and named it my bk hammer..as soon as he started to come close to me ...I would swing this hammer wildly...I said if he walked into its path way its his fault--not mine..if he gets hit...Hector bought a cool 60's van with shag carpeting and everything..even a bed in the back....he had to go get some milk at the store...so he asked if I wanted to go for a ride ...I said sure...We went into the store...and hector saw a black guy stealing a can of food ...He said hey man...don't steal man..It reflects not only on him..and his character but also all blacks everywhere....the guy said sorry..but he was hungry..Hector said to get a job...but here is 20 dollars in the mean time....Wow cool maybe Hector wasn't that bad after all.....after that he didn't wake me up with water thrown on me...and my hammer sucked anyway....I tossed it out.....Later Hector let me practice driving with his car....even after I took a chrome molding off a car as I was trying to park...he still let me drive his car..Hector even tried to help me get a job at radio shack as he knew I had a knack for electronics...but the guy said that I was too young... Hector tried to pass this same type of Black pride down to a black guy that just arrived at the house....only after Gamblin saw LLoyds stereo system and walked out the door with it....wires trailing 3 feet behind as he tried to run with the stereo. One guy passed him on the sidewalk who happened to be LLoyds roommate..and came in the house and asked why the new kid Gamblin was walking down the street with LLoyds stereo.....but by that time Gamblin had already fenced the unit....He must have had a cat waiting around the corner...Gamblin came back in...and one of the staff asked him where LLoyd's stereo was...The kid who saw him also was there repeating how he saw Gamblin carrying the stereo down the street and had even offered to help Gamblin with it by picking up the speaker wires that were dragging....BUSTED...Well Hector talked with Gamblin and talked about Black pride and how to rise above the stereotype of how all blacks steal...and what he does in life affects not only him ...but his family. his friends and his race....I not sure how Gamblin got the money back or maybe Hector fronted him the money..but Lloyd had a brand new better system out of the deal...and Hector got Gamblin a job cleaning office furniture at night....In no time Gamblin also bought a stereo system as good as LLoyds with huge speakers...that is how everyone in the house got introduced to Bob Marley.....yeah man we jamming ..hope your like jamming tooo........:)
If I couldn't sleep I would go downstairs and Hector would be talking on the phone...so I made myself a tea..and sat down at the kitchen table....after 5 minutes Hector was holding the mouth piece and whispering he would like me to go up and do a head count....so he passes me the flashlight....I open the the second bedroom door and there is Tony on the floor..leaning against the bed...at first I thought he was doing his prayers or ...yup ...got the wrist action....he was whacking off...and was going lifting the mattress up ready to deposit it there...ah..shit..sorry I said and let the door close..I mean what else can you say...Hector was off the phone...and he said you couldn't have checked all the rooms...I said no I didn't ..and told him what I saw...he laughs..didn't you knock on the door before opening it...I said no....I would have thought at 1am everyone would be alseep...Hector laughs..as he grabs the flashlight and goes up to do a head check...

quality time with Kathy--ahh yeah right

Saturday sleep in...yay!! Got up and was going to jump in the shower..but had to have a coffee and smoke first...Made a coffee and went in the tv room to light up.9yup back in those days you would think that underage kids wouldn't be allowed to smoke in the house)...Turned on the tv and got lost in some program...Kathy came into the tv room and sat down ...strange..in all the years I have been here she has never sat down and watched tv....I felt the weight of someone staring at me....I turned my head slightly and saw Kathy staring at my open house coat as I had put my feet up...I quickly re-adjusted my house coat and returned her stare.....she embarrassed at being caught...yelled that I shouldn't sit around all day in my house coat...I said really eh...who never know who might try to look up it eh...as I butted my smoke and headed upstairs to finish showering...I felt dirty .......that the bitch was spying on my wardrobe failure...yuk as I tried to wash away the image of Kathy staring at my crotch....

knife to the throat

It was an assembly at school--this was rare at West Hill C.I...so I attended with my school friend Odas who btw made his dream come true and is now on the opp police force. WE were seated in the school auditorium waiting for everthing to start...along came Lloyd from the home...he was with a friend of his....it felt strange to have another guy from the house attend my school as most of the guys went to the trade high schools, but Lloyd had the grades to attend West Hill CI. They sat directly behind us...He was acting like an idiot...I asked him what was up>? he said hey did I say you could talk to me...? With that he produced a kitchen knife from the home...a sharp big blade knife...he pressed the blade against my throat....He said that I was to do anything he said and if I disobeyed him he would kill me....yay whatever...why don't you stop talking about it and just do it --you chicken shit...he laughed and pressed the blade further in...I could feel the blade start to cut into my skin..he held the knife there for what seemed like forever...Odas said hey man be cool eh...what did he do to you...lets all stay cool ...why don't you put the knife away and we can talk this over....Lloyd told me to shut the asshole up...I again asked him why he was doing this....he said because he can....and fear him because he owned me...more people started to be seated and the hole that was around us started to fill in..We all started to feel the silent hush as more and more people realized that Lloyd had a knife to my throat...this caused Lloyd to back off.....he put the knife back into his note books and left with his friend clapping him on the back as if congratulating his on doing a good deed....Odus said ok ...lets go...go...go where?> he said you have to report this...I said no the guy was just letting off steam....most likely the house got to him..and he fell apart...this was his way of screaming out for help...Odus said ok lets get him some help..he said no matter what I told him he was going to report this to the principle....We went to the office and asked to speak to the principle..The secretary said that he was busy...We told her what happened she disappeared and we were ushered into his office...Odas told him what happened...and the principle came over and looked at the marks on my throat...he said ok he would take care of this....that day we heard that the police raided his locker finding a knife...they took Lloyd away in handcuffs..I went home after school and Kathy said well you did it again didn't you....I said what do you mean...she said the police were here and asked how Lloyd got hold of the knife....now she this was going to make like she wasn't doing her job correctly...I said yeah and so whats the problem...she started to shrill now and said well just so you know ...That was the last straw for Lloyd..he was now in serious trouble and I ruined his life...they took him away to jail....She wanted to know why I aired our dirty laundry to the principle..if I had of told her she could have taken the knife away and sat down with Lloyd and talk it out....I said that he did it front of another student...it was that student that insisted that we had to inform the principle...She said shaking her head that Lloyd is now moved out..and his education and future are history...... way to go Bobby!!

17 and time to move out....

I am in grade 12 and exams are just around the corner...the stress of living in this hostile house is weighing down on me...I think I have been through alot in this 4 and half years that I called this house home..Instead of building young boys into confident responsible men...the goal seems to be how to beat the soul and spirit out of these young bucks....How many guys that have gone through Kennedy house's doors have made it....Ok make it easier how many have stayed out of jail..? Not many. Still the world revolves around money..so Ed was not going to be pulling in any more money from the children's aid for anyone who is over 18..so out they go..and to make sure they are out and he doesn't have to carry them ...he gives ya the boot before your 18 birthday. So like I said with exams around the corner...I was told to look for an apartment....I said how was I to pay the rent? Kathy said that I would be given student welfare..Till I finished grade 12...I said what about after that...She said as far as going on to further my education...she didn't see that as an option...best that once I finished school to look for a job..Immediately. I asked about the 25% of my pay she has socked away when do I receive that...she said sorry but that money went back into the house..but I said that when we were told to give her 25%of our pay when we were forced to work the summer and also whenever I worked --hell they even took Tyrones 25% when he slaved all day selling dicky dee ice cream it would be returned to us upon leaving the house so of like a hope chest--funds to sock away for a rainy day..She went into do you know how much it costs to keep me here....She said that I would find out once I was on my own.At this point we we in the little house office...it was the 0pening to the old stairwell to the attic...but they blocked it up when they took out the stairs..the same stairs that a worker 4 years before fell through when they were fixing up the attic..he fell through and his feet were dangling.good thing his crotch stopped the fail...ouch.as I recalled that day..I was brought back to Kathy blabbing about how the funding worked and how the hell do you think they paid for the movies at the bijou..Just then YUK..she let one go...I said what the hell man..She wasn't embarrassed as Kathy told me what do you think woman don't fart ...I said I know woman do , but maybe she just felt that she didn't think of me as anyone important and did it to emphize her disrespect she had for me as she didn't say oops or sorry or pardon me.What she said next seemed to backed it up..She also said that once I left I was to call first...as she didn't see any reason why I would drop by she said someone would greet you at the front door and I would have to have a good reason to enter the home...as she couldn't think of any she said once I moved out it was time to say goodbye and good luck..The next day a newspaper was purchased and I was to go through the want ads looking for a new place to live....I checked out a couple of places...but they were all dives..or filled with party people ...one place you could even smell the weed....Finally found a shared condo....price was right and they even said that I could use the mattress on the floor if I wanted...it was all set the move out was to began as soon as possible.....no going away parties...no visit from ED....nothing---here's your hat.........It was really lonely being dumped like that....the condo was quiet....to quiet....I couldn't sleep...I had to study for my exams....I had to stay focused and also had to look for a job....I did ok on my exams....I passed grade 12.....I even won the Canadian Manufactures Award --I still wonder why I was told that it was not an option to carry on with my education...as afact that I passed grade 12 with honors and even won an award too..why didn't I qualify to carry on with my education? I had high hopes of going to college or University ...Shit what do I do now? Rent has to be paid....I wondered how I was to do that I had to find a job....but quick that was for sure....I needed new clothes as I was starting to lose weight...well shit I didn't even know how to turn the stove on....no wonder I was losing weight...I called my sister and she said that I needed help and I would have to call social services and get Welfare...So I called social services and a nice worker came over...I said that I need to get some clothes and bus fare...and rent money....Till I found a job...I told Her That I figured maybe 2 months...she said sure no problem....I said how long do I have Till I had to pay back the money....she laughed and said hey thats cute....she said that I didn't have to pay back the government. Strange I thought hell --why would anyone want to get off it if you didn't have to pay it back (to this day I still ask this question)......I said ok.....So I got my cheque and bought a new pair of safety boots because everyone was saying that I would need them.....And a bus pass as it was cheaper in the long run instead of tickets....I found a job...I got the welfare check for the second month and called my welfare social worker and said that I haven't cashed it ......so should I send it back..so laughed again and said no....go out and buy your some new clothes for my job....and have some lunch money....I thanked her for helping me...

Return from Manitoba---

After boarding the plane home....I was so thankful for meeting Sue and her family especially her father who knew how to handle scum like Ted my Carnival restaurant boss....so on my way back to Toronto..yeah...it felt good to be going home..the carnival life was not for me..getting drunk every night...working your ass off for a loud mouth piece of shit....for peanuts..although I did wonder how many of the guys visited the girl in the costume jewelry tent..The only good part was meeting Sue and her family...So one the way home...I sat in the middle of the plane...no one was in my row....or the row across but the rest of the plane was full....they started to serve dinner....they started at the front and back..and worked their way to the middle to me....well the person serving the back rows thought the person who served the front was looking after me and the person who served the front thought the person who served the back was looking after me......or maybe I had to pay extra for food.....I smelt all the different foods my stomach started to rumble...I even would have settle for one of Ted greasy burgers or for Gamblin's soup..Gamblin helped the cooks in the front out...he also cooked the meals for the staff...soup was always brewing...Ted said that we should eat lots of soup--and stew...yeah all the left overs that they didn't sell they put in the soup..they got Gamblin to work in the back because on the first day it was explained to us that a paying customer didn't want a black person to touch their food....Well not only was Ted a piece of Shit he was also a racist...Anyway all that was behind me now ...going home...as my stomach screamed out for food......They were now clearing the trays...Well that does it I am not going to get anything...I asked one of the woman clearing up --How much was the tray of food....she looked at me and asked why...I said I didn't receive one...she talked to the other girls and one at a time they all started to wait on me....oh .... man so much food that they opened up the seat beside me and put the additional tray down... it was how I first thought ..one thought each other was looking after me....well now I was stuffed and it was night time flying in to Toronto..we had to circle around the cn tower twice....what a view...it was perfect...We landed ..and I made my way to the phones...I called the home and no answer...what the hell eh..>? So I called Carol's house the secretary to the group home and also my friend.I babysat ..her kids. Butch--answered(her husband)..I briefly explained to him what happened and how there was no answer at the home... he said they were closed down as the kids were at camp....so I asked him what do you think I should do.....he said if I wanted to he could come pick me up....I thought he just got off of work and would be tired...so I said I would just grab a room around here and bus it back tomorrow....I saw the price of the hotels ...they even came to the airport to pick you up.well for the price I guess so....hell its almost 2pm..I was usually drunk by this time in Manitoba...I was wide awake still...I thought I would save the money and just sleep in a chair at the airport and wait till the bus started. I didn't sleep to well...who could...ever slept in one of those plastic chairs?---anyway I caught the bus and headed to Scarborough...I went to the house and sure enough all locked up...I went over to Butch's house.. he said that he was also heading out and that maybe I should go up with them to the trailer where Carol and their kids were....I said ok...so away we go...wasn't much company going up- as I slept most of the time....Spent a couple of days up there....Butch still made the commute into the city to go to work...he said that he got a call from Kathy and that she was back at the house ,and I should get back home asap..So Butch told her when she could expect me back...the following day and what time..as he would drop me off before he went into work....I arrived home to see a guy parked in the school parking entrance and going through this huge mound of garbage....Strange that antique radio looked just like mine....I entered the home..damn it felt good to be home Kathy quickly killed that good feeling. So Kathy said what the hell happened ...I told her all about Ted and how he was a racist piece of shit and worked us to death and then left us alone knowing that we all were drinking and up all night .She said that Ted did the house a favor by taking the kids for the summer saving the house money.. and giving the kids a chance to see Canada...I said you make it sound like a holiday...he doesn't give a shit about us...he just wants cheap labor...She said don't think you will be just sitting around here...you will have to work..you can start by painting your room...She said you don't have to thank her for getting started on cleaning things up....yeah ok..whatever that means...so I go up to my room and all of my stuff is gone....that little bitch...she threw out all of my stuff.....that was my radio that guy was putting into his car.....I went into the room that over looked the front..and could see that most of my stuff was gone and also the car in the school lot gone too....damn...that bitch...she is so cold hearted ...I felt the tear well up ...I thought I can't give her the satisfaction of seeing how much she hurt me....I went down and asked her why she is trying to erase me....she said why did I not make the vacation with Ted work.?...I spoiled it by coming home..and now she had to stay and babysat me..and to bust her budget and bring a shift in to look after me....she said I ruined everything...how does it feel to have my stuff ruined....the same way I ruined her schedule and budget.?....She said why don't you go out into the garbage and get your tape decks and electrical stuff....and tools...I said that someone had already stopped by the side of the road and took them...I left to go up to my room....she said she put the nice antique radio on top of the crap...did they take that also.?....bitch.....damn a frigging tear gave me away as I slowly said yup that was the first to go....oh well...she noticed the tear...she smirked baiting me further.I didn't bite...I walked away...it was up in my room that I felt the full blow of her intent......yup make no mistake I was home....Welcome back to hell..........

Doug asst exe. director--yeah the knuckle on head guy

I was once again confronted with Doug. He was chosen to break the news to me about a death in my family..My aunt passed away...He came over from the garage office and asked that I accompany him downstairs ..he wanted to chat with me where we could have some privacy...He told me about my aunt....I couldn't believe it....I started to cry and Doug reached over and put his arm around me and pulled me across his lap.....What the hell man....this is too much comforting...he stoked my hair as I finished off my emotional grief at hearing the news...I tried to pull my self away to sit up and his hand pushed my head back down into his lap....wtf....I then thought I should ask him questions...and sat up to hear the answers....that worked...when was the funeral etc....He said he would drive me to my grandmothers...I got cleaned up and met him outside....WE drove to the junction in Toronto...I stared out the window thinking about my aunt....and how she always had ice cream in her freezer whenever I visited her little apartment...A tear streamed down...well that was the break Doug was looking for.... he placed his hand on my knee...and then on the inside of my thigh.....stroking my leg while maintaining a firm presence on my leg.....this guy is creeping me out...as I recalled our first meeting how he knucked me in the head with such force the pain caused me to lose my breath and he 'fixed ' me ....I recalled how I felt that something was wrong with how he touched me..the very same way as he stroked the inside of my thigh......Later I found out that Doug was relieved of his duties as an assit. Exe. director as he was caught over stepping his bounds..I can only guess what he was caught doing.......AS I heard it he admitted to being a Homosexual and Edward asked for him to resign--oh yay you have to know that there was more to this ....

Tony the tooth fairy?

Tony was a slick guy that was for sure...he stuck by Kathy and said how I pushed him and he was only defending himself against me....I tripped and fell over the box..and through the window....Now Tony was having an argument with another guy...this kid was small but worked out.....I don't know what started it or what happened but knew it came in from the kitchen..where Kathy was....The small guy was getting away from Tony...he was way across the other side of the room...and Tony said I will get you ....the kid said yeah go ahead and try.....we all thought it was over...and just then Tony slide across the living room and double kicked the kid right in the face....man what the hell was that kick...I have only seen that type of move on those kung-fu movies..Even Kathy saw how Tony attacked the small guy...yeah the kid was mouthing off, but it was Tony that did the kung-fu kick....the kid held his mouth and went into the washroom....BANG...BANG....BANG...he screamed....and wailed..at the top of his lungs....water was spraying everywhere...my teeth...he spite out..with blood whistling through where his two front teeth used to be....the sink that survived over a hundred years sitting of the wall was half on the floor...with the water pissing out of a feed pipe......now it was Kathy's turn to react ..........the HOUSE...STOP RUINING THE HOUSE..JUST LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO THE SINK.....LOOK AT THIS MESS......the kid said what about my teeth.....SO WHAT... she said DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO RIP THE SINK OUT...ITS NOT GOING TO BRING BACK YOUR TEETH IS IT...as she twisted the shut offs to the sink...the water stopped pissing out...the kid wasn't caring about the sink..he was begging everyone to help look for his teeth....maybe they could put them back in.....Kathy said stop it..as the small guy was moving the couch looking for his teeth....get in the kitchen and put some ice on your mouth and stop spreading blood around the house....you have done enough damage to the house..already.....man this bitch was as cold as they come..that was for sure...someone found the teeth...they were snapped off...nope they couldn't be put back in.....the kid was now damaged for life..due to Kathy's neglect of handling another incident...as I was too....by the same kid..with her present in both incidents...who knows how she wrote this incident up....because Tony was still there at the end of the day....The small guy just got his denture plate and we were all hanging at Mcdonalds...we left and were heading home...half way home...the small guy said his teeth...he forgot his teeth on a tray in Mcdonalds...he took them out and put them in a kleenex on the try...he forgot to re-insert them after he ate.....he yelled half running come on help me look for them....he ran back to Mcdonalds...We arrived there just as Kathy was pulling up...What the hell eh?...what was she doing here...Everyone started to come out of Mcdonalds...we asked what was wrong..they said some kid was going nuts yelling for his teeth. and going through the trash...they left because the staff at Mcdonalds feared for the customers as the kid was emptying trash going out or control....he kept asking who cleared the trays and which garbage they emptied it in....the witness said that the guy started to empty garbage all over the restaurant...they must have been told to call Kathy to help go through the garbage to look for his teeth....and so I guess Kathy drove right over... everyone was clearing out of Mcdonalds...you could almost hear his screams above the traffic and voices of the crowd now outside of Mcdonalds....finally Kathy came out with the kid.....it was too much for the kid..losing his teeth the second time ....he fall to the ground and looked like he just wanted to give up......he held out his hands and screamed his teeth...his teeth....he looked right through us......Kathy said stop your wailing get into the car......you were told not to lose this set as they were very expensive...she told the kid that she didn't believe they would be able to buy another set........man talk about kicking a kid when he is down....with the cold hard truth being forced at him the poor kid thrust his hands up....as if reaching up to god to beg to be taken now.....Kathy screamed at him get in the car..you are making a scene and the police will be called and he will be charged with disturbing the peace....she half tugged and pulled and pushed the kid into the car....Kathy turned to look in our direction....you guys have caused enough trouble here...get home now...NOW I mean It ...do you hear me...NOW.. I guess she didn't want to go through the garbage either...what a bitch...

Through the window....

Well another day....early morning and I had spares-- but I was up early...most of the guys were already gone to school. One guy Tony was having a bad day....He missed his bus-- as all the buses loaded up in my school parking lot..so all the guys in the house just walked around the fence and they boarded the school bus there..Tony saw out the kitchen window his bus roll out of West Hill..".Shit...I missed my f..king bus". Well kathy couldn't let that swear word go...how dare you swear in front of me...she said, that will be 25cents of your allowance Tony..no make that 50cents as that was two swear words....Kathy knew how to play this game..hell she made up the rules...this was a lesson to teach all the guys that 'her will ---will be done"--So because Kathy said this in a taughting high pitched voice...it almost followed the tune of a public schools school yard taught..NA..NA ...NA ..NA NA....I got your money and their is nothing you can do about it.....well watching Kathy pull this ego trip on yet another resident so early in the morning and also her not taking into account that he was having a bad day and now would have to run to school to make it to his classes......I said to Tony don't let kathy get you going ...I told him that she will now get you mad and everytime you lash out ...she will then again slap you with a 25 cent fine....this will make you madder and she will carry-on till all of your allowance will be gone ...and then you will feel that you have nothing to lose and will now feel that you can swear all you want ...then she will start on one day house restrictions....he was to far gone to take in all I was saying as Kathy was now up to the allowance limit of 5 dollars...Tony was really pissed now...he started to fume and he motioned forward to hit kathy....Damn man if he hit her ..he would be charged .......I stood up and tried to push him back....he wailed and screamed FU_K! FU_K......he was now spiting out the swear words leaning against my hands...trying to get around me.....Kathy was saying "let him go....let Tony hit me "....damn this has escalated out of control...now Tony was so mad I thought his eyes would pop out of his head they were bulging....he had a crazed look...Spittle was hanging on his lip as he shouted the swear words....he then picked me up...and tossed me much the same way as blue lips swung the kitchen chair ....I flew through the air and smashed against the very window he was just peering out ...This brought Tony down...and he went over to me...sorry man..but that bitch is playing me....I said no problem..been there on the receiving end myself....checked my hands all seemed ok...only broken glass....Tony looked down and said what the hell...where is all this blood coming from .....Hmm....I looked at my arms and hands nope nothing...now a puddle was forming and my leg was getting wet....I lifted up my shirt and this deep gash greeted me....shoot....I must have hit the glass with my hand and then turned my body sideways and this is how I received the cut....I looked at the cut and could see deep into my side....yellow stuff--hey was that my muscle or most likely my fat and really red blood....this gap would need stitches....Kathy was still freaking out over the window...she would have to explain to EDWARD- how she let someone get thrown against a window while she was there.....why she couldn't stop the situation from getting out of hand....she looked at me and said look what you did to the window...why don't you just mind your own business....yeah right Kathy spin this to cover your butt... to get Tony on her side she said don't worry Tony it was not your fault...and you get to keep all your allowance and I will drive you to school....Tony looked at me....and laughed you burn buddy.....I said hey Kathy what about me ...as I felt myself get weak from blood loss...she said she will drive me to the doctors....I said I want to go to the hospital....now....she said too much paper work...yeah right ....she would have to explain how I ended up through the window...with the doctor she didn't have to explain how it happened.....Kathy said --will be back soon...if you are still alive we then can go to the doctors......she had errands first, as she had to drop off another guy with a wood project at another school first....I sat in the chair with a towel just touching the deep gash....I looked down at the gash it was so deep and the blood so red....I started to feel really dizzy now.....I can't believe how I really don't matter....at that moment I wished that this was it....Carol the secretary came over....asked me if I was ok...she said Kathy is just leaving now to take two kids to school...she stopped in and said that I was bugging Tony and he pushed me away..and I tripped over the chest that one of the guys was taking to school for a project.....I said that is not the way it happened....Carol said you are looking really pale...how do you feel?...I feel weak...and dizzy...she said here put your feet up..and slid another chair under my legs...I felt cold and very tired....Carol kept an eye on me....Kathy came back about an half hour later --Carol said that I was pale and cold....yeah...too bad Kathy said as she eyed the window again...lets go she said to me...and don't get any blood on my car seat...She took me to the doctor...the doctor said that it was a very deep gash...maybe she should take me to the hospital as they might have to put inside stitches...so said just close it up..if you can..if it opens up again we will go to the hospital.then Kathy said that I had to get to school and couldn't wait all day in the hospital emergency......I was lying on his bed on my side and I was sweating ...he said look man....you are getting my table all wet...he made me get up and pulled out the white cheap paper lied it out --I lied down again and then proceeded to stitch me up.....and yes it hurt like hell....and the stitches did pop open and no ...I wasn't taken to the hospital...and the injury got infected and the scar is huge...what a butcher job...This wasn't the last time Tony showed his aggressive side....

house goes whacky --end

I said to the cop that was some comedy routine....as Jim was coming out of the car he had his seat belt on...there was no need to beat him....I said not only that , but it was jim's uncle's car....The cop laughed and said they already ran the license plate..the car was stolen last week...shit--Jim knew the car was parked at the cn tower because one of them stole the car earlier-it's not his uncle's car....oops we are in SHIT NOW...We were driven to the peel police station....we were allowed to sit at the desks of the daytime staff as long as we didn't touch or open any of the desks up....We were stationed around the room and ordered not to talk to each other...the cop started to ask me questions.. he was facing me...Jim thought this was the perfect time to get rid of the magnet still up his sleeve...he didn't notice that another cop was keeping an eye on us from the other door ....at his side.....damn busted the cop jumped into the room and grabbed Jim ...what do we have here....a magnet....hmmm,, doing a little fishing eh.?...Lol what the hell -seems as if everyone knew what fishing was....now it was Jims turn to play naive...whats fishing? --I almost broke out in laughter.....the cop says anyone else have any tools on them....everyone nodded no....he says well the rest of you are going to 311 jarvis..but since Jim here is older and should know better he gets to see what a real cell looks like....with that they hand cuffed him again...twice in one night and said he was additionally charged with burglary tools....You guys say goodbye to your friend cause its looks like he is going down....Darn...take care Jim...see ya back at the house?....no answer...that was the last I saw of my roommate...We were shipped down to 311 jarvis street in Toronto....Damn...guess this was our own big house for kids our age....one at a time we were told to come into a room,--stripped searched...showered and this guard squirted this cold smelly fluid on my.......< , and under my arms and in my hair...how embrassing. then..watched as I dressed...and told to go into the tv room...man I was so tired....I feel asleep watching tv with about 30 other guys around me...I was awoken to this fat guard yelling at us to line up and our feet on a straight line...he would march up and down telling every other person to shuffle their feet so they were all exactly on the line but not over...eyes straight ahead...We were to head down to breakfast..then to another shower..and deloucing.....one of the guards asked that I be excused as I was wanted in court... It appeared that as soon as Edward heard that I was behind bars in 311 he immediatly ordered that I be rescued ....Kathy was pissed she wanted me to spend a couple of weeks in 311 but Edward wouldn't let her...and ordered her to use whatever was necessary to get me out.. A lot of guys didn't return back to the home. Guess I was lucky..... or was I.....?

house goes whacky --continued

Nope as I was to find out , I still didn't know what fishing was....We went into a major hotel downtown...the fisher said to just walk straight into the elevator and don't look around...make it look like you have a room there..WE were to enter into the hotel in pairs..then upon gaining access meet at the top floor....Ok we are in...We rejoined again at the top floor...it appeared again my stubby broken screwdriver...this time they went over to the coke machine and were prying up the coin return plate...I said what do you expect to get ....half amusing that they were nuts to think they could get any money....next they produced the magnet...sent it down the hole they created..and up it came with all kinds of silver coins sticking to the magnet....damn so this is fishing...They cleaned that machine out...and went down one floor and did that machine and carried on floor by floor...One of the guys said he had to use the washroom...I did also so I followed him down the next floor...We were checking out the pop machine because it was only the older pop machines that you could bend the coin return plate up and gain access to the money....The guy I was with said he really had to take a piss....so I said lets go to the lobby maybe there is a washroom down there...he said no way...he couldn't wait....what the hell you will just have to hold it....as I started for the stairway....he wasn't following ....I went back up and he was just finishing up taking a leak in this silver machine.....I said what the hell is that? He said its an ice maker...I laughed ..yeah right why would they have an ice maker machine in a hotel....He looked at me and said you really don't get out much do you....? I guess not....Just then a guy came into the pop alcove and said what the f..k you guys doing here? If you get noisy ..I will come out of my room and bop you one ....Fu..king kids ,he says as he sticks this black bucket into the place where the guy just pissed into...OMG...I started to say something and the hotel guest made a move towards me and lifted his fist up to my face and said just say one word you f..k ....just one word...I will bash your f..cking face in...man this guy was violent....so I shut up...he went back and scooped more of the ice into his bucket...I wanted to go home...this was no good....peeing in the ice machine was a very rude thing to do....but even worse was if the guy figured out why his ice was a little tainted he would be back to do us in good.....I went up and told the other guys and Jim snapped the kid in the head...what the f..k are you doing peeing into the ice machine...They went down to ice machine and pulled the plug ,stuck an out of order sign made out of the hotel paper...then we got the hell out of the hotel....We stopped in to a tower by the rail tracks...They said this was a control tower for the trains...I laughed >. I heard of a control tower for planes but not for trains...they said that at one time there was so many trains coming through they needed a tower to make sure they didn't hit each other...We went up the stairs to the tower...someone was in there....a guy and a girl...they looked were dirty...and looked spaced out...One of the group home guys went over to a cabinet and pulled out a boom box radio...the street bum said hey...thats mine...Damn I thought this is going to get ugly...just then the rest of the guys from the home entered and the bum shut up.....and said well its not his- but he found it there earlier....and the guy said yeah, because he put it there.....He turned it on...listening for any reports on us being on the loose....he told the street bum that it was for the tower...and it seemed as if some kind of understanding developed and they both nodded ....this will be the tower radio.as if it was a dedication ceremony to the tower--TO THE TOWER...as Gary lifted one of the mickeys to his lips...We left the control tower and headed over to the cn tower....One of the guys said that his uncle said that he would drop off the car in the parking lot by the cn tower...So he said not to travel in a large group...so they would go ahead and get the car...we were to wait behind a fence....20 minutes went by ..I thought maybe there wasn't a car....just then sure enough a car appeared.....it drove up to us....yup this is it- one of the guys said...I approached the car and asked if this was really his uncle's car...he said it sure was...he said its not hotwired or anything...look- the keys are here...I said do you have your license ....he said yeah had it ...since he was 16 ....Well good enough for me....I got in....we headed to the QEW...and up to the 427....passed a race track and after that it got really dark....we were on our way to someone's cottage ...well so I thought...as I drifted off to sleep......I awoke to everyone freaking out...A flashing light was reflecting off the roof and around the windows....I must have fallen asleep....I asked what happened...they said it's the cops....quiet.everyone....Jim said only he would do the talking...The cop approached and I then saw another one approach from the otherside..with flash lights...damn they flashed the lights right into my eyes....They then asked Jim for his license and registration...jim said he will be honest with them as he didn't have his license on him... but it was his uncle's car and he let him use it... If they wanted to they could take him down to the pig station and they could call his uncle....with calling the cops pigs...they reached in and shut the engine off....pulling out the keys...and pulled jim out....they thought Jim was fighting them as he wasn't coming.....so both pulled on him....poor Jim was screaming the cops were screaming for him to come out....but Jim was screaming because his seat belt was on......so they cops were pulling on Jims neck and hair...and jacket...smacking him with their flash lights to let go....but it was due to his seat belt-- not him holding onto the interior of the car....just then the guy in the front seat reached over and pushed the button on Jim's seat belt and jim went flying out hitting the ground with the cops too....zip ...hand cuffed and stuck in the back of the police car...in seconds flat....next us...they told us to get out and put our hands on the car with our legs spread apart...I laughed and said you got to be kidding they only do that on tv....One of the guys said you better do what they tell you or you will feel the flashlight also.... the cop behind me said just do like your buddy ..hands of the car and spread your legs apart....

The house goes whacky...

Well it came to clamp down time...reason...can't remember if it was due to Kathy being appointed the new head supervisor of the house..but I believe it was the way Kathy sneaked in...We all were on our summer close down of the house, Camping at Algonquin Park. She was introduced to us as just a student who was required to put her hours in a for practical experience for school. Meanwhile she was building files on us...reorganizing the staff and making new rules for the home...After the summer was over...we had a house meeting,...it was then revealed to us she was to become the new supervisor of the home...She introduced 59 new rules..two flipping pages of rules...I was ticked that she tricked us... gaining our trust as just being a student observer .....really sneaky....She read through the two pages of rules...they were harsh.... and uncalled for...I was the first to crumple up the two pages and throw them in the middle of the room....the rest of the guys followed..then mayhem broke out.. meeting over..lol.......The guys went whacky.....they all decided to run away...they asked me to come along...I thought --run away and do what? go where? I didn't have any money..they said don't worry we will get some...One of the guys uncle said that we could use his car, and drive up north to his cottage..It was a whole house effort....it wouldn't be effective if everyone wasn't in on it..so away we go...First one of the guys said they need some tools...he took a knife and cut about two feet of rubber from the fridge...I said what the hell are you doing? He said he needed it for fishing...fishing? I said come on man thats our fridge. He then pulled out a two foot length of magnet. This guy has lost it...how the hell he was going to catch fish with a magnet?..He laughed at me..and also told the other guys and they all had a good chuckle too...That day we all left the house..... the older guys took the lead. We headed to a coin wash Laundromat...I said what are we doing here? They said we need to get downtown to get the car...but we also need money..So I said ok...so I asked again why are we here? One of the guys pulled out a screw driver...hey what are you doing thats my screwdriver...He says well here you do it then....I said no way.....he then attacked the soap machine....with my screwdriver...he bent the metal lip up...in doing so he also bent my screwdriver..damn...One of the other guys went over to a washing machine and started to break in to the coin slot...he figured that he would have to take the white metal parts off to gain access...so he loosens the top....gets my bent screwdriver and prys loose the sides...now a woman comes in to the totally empty laundry mat and goes over to the machine that the guy was ripping apart...of all the damn machines in the place and she happens to use that one...she tries to push the quarters in and the slot is misaligned --the guys all break up laughing...the lady looks up at them giving them a glare that could kill....she finally smacks the coin slider and the coins click and the machine starts....it starts to fill up and then it goes into its cleaning cycle and the bloody thing is making a hell of a racket as the top, and sides start to fall apart....the guys broke up laughing again and said we better get out of here before the machine hits spin cycle.....the woman finally figured out what we were up to and started yelling from the laundry mat that she was going to call the police...We ran..and ran....the guys counted the take..and found out that they had almost enough to buy a 12 pack of beer...so they said they needed a couple of more bucks and they could hit the liquor store so they wouldn't have to lug around the beer on the bus and subway...so they told us to stay where we were..and two of the guys headed to a newspaper box...they put a quarter in the box ......what the hell...they getting a newspaper for....? The guys laughed again...I said what...what...? I looked over and my screwdriver appeared again..this time they were hitting the box from the inside using a big rock as a hammer....I started over to them ...this time I was going to save my screwdriver from participating in the aid of these crimes...too late...my poor bent screwdriver snapped...but not before the paper box gave up its bounty.....the coins fell all over the newspapers and the ground....WOW...how much money can a newspaper box hold? There must have been over 20 bucks..it was the most quarters I have ever saw in one place at one time....The guys were quick no sooner had the quarters fallen out that they were picked up and shoved into their pockets....The guy with the magnet was using it to gather the quarters up...oh so thats fishing I thought...So we head over to the liquor store...they buy a couple of mickeys...now we go...they say...we got on the bus and headed for downtown Toronto...Yonge street here we come....We arrived at yonge street still pretty early about 10pm or so...I guess they knew by now that the boys were not coming home...We went into an arcade. They never had to go get change for the machines that was for sure...they had enough quarters to play all night...I got bored of the arcade..and wondered when we were going to head up north as I was getting tired...We killed a couple of hours at the arcade..now they realized that they needed more money...oh damn here we go again...well this time they had no screwdrivers to pry open paper boxes... they said time to go fishing.........?

An open post to the Minister of Children and Youth Services

Hi Dr. Marie Bountrogianni recently sent you a link to my blog...I am concerned that the abuse that I endured at Kennedy House is still being carried on.. As I read in the news about the two staff members sexually assaulting the two boys at the group home ....It brought about guilt that if I had of come forward and exposed the ill managed home --maybe those kids would not have to endure what I have gone through --It then struck me that due to my silence on my abuse...there might have already been casualties--- other boys might have been abused and are living daily with the consequences of being victims too. AS a crown ward of the children's aid. I feel that the government ---my guardians..totally let me down. I was encouraged to write my experiences down as they invade every aspect of my life today...I would like someday to have closure on that part of my life...as someone told me let sleeping dogs lie..another said .get over it...and oh and one more....I am sure you have come to terms by now haven't you? I would like to find peace of mind...hiding this part of my life has not worked...maybe bring it out into the light might be a better route..thanks...

John's house

Dave was on Staff restriction... wanted to go somewhere but he couldn't go alone with John....so he asked me to come with them...I said I would rather not...(as John had already attacked me ...the last thing I wanted was to be in the guys car...) As John was again on loan from Kennedy road house....He was working the afternoon shift at our house and he couldn't leave with just one guy so the only way for Dave to get a ride was for another resident to accompany them...Dave kept on begging me...even gently reminded me about how he got rid of MJ ....Damn...I said where are you going...he said he had to get out...maybe catch a movie...Shit...ok...so we head out...only we are not heading for the Bijou movie house.....I thought maybe we were going to another movie theatre...after awhile..we started to head into a residential neighborhood...I( said where are we going?..John said he just wanted to show Dave something...Shit...We arrived at his John's house..He lived with his parents..so I thought what the hell could he do with them there....John lived in the basement...John motioned for me to have a seat...sitting in a lounge chair with thick arms...this was mad...what the hell am I doing here...what are we doing here...? John said here Dave this what he wanted us to see....his guns....this is totally nuts...I don't want to see guns...I wanted to go...I said to Dave lets go...Dave said yeah in a minute..as he was gazing at all the guns....John was following his gaze and he said here The good ones are hidden....he started to pull out all of these guns....He put them on the arms of the chair....across me..so I was blocked from getting up...he said CAREFUL !! as some of them are loaded....The hairs on my neck started to stand up...something was up...this was a planned stop it had to be, shit where was this going...by this time four rifles were laid across the arms of the chair...every time John bent down pulling guns from underneath the couch...behind the book shelf..and it seemed like he was pulling them out of thin air....he would pull the bolt back and slid it forward you could hear the metal mesh..smoothly and the clicks were sharp and exact.....he added another gun to my chair...now he was running out of room...there was no other space left on the arm of the chair..so he started to lean the rifles against my chair...don't move now...he said with a smirk...He said to Dave the really good ones were in the other room...the hand guns..They were gone for awhile....I could hear them faintly in the other room...time was really dragging on...I couldn't hear them anymore...just whispers...the damn guns were making me nervous...why the hell would he leave these loaded guns leaning on the chair. and across my lap..? I started to get really scared...I think I went in shock..as I stopped being aware of the time...I wondered how long I was there..it felt like hours...I finally called out...nothing...I was sweating, my mouth dry..I felt out of step with time again....much like the first sexual assault ....totally helpless...much of what happened or how long we were at john's house I don't recall....maybe it might be better off if I don't...............................................................:(

Hmm---Barry, Paul, Cheryl--and her sister....>>>--

Paul is my roomate, he is dating Cheryl--Barry is a 30+year old staff member. Cheryl would come over and spend time with Paul-She said to her younger sister who was 14 years old that she should come with her as there is a couple of guys at the house that she might be interested in hanging with. So one visit and her sister was a Kennedy House groupie. She was always there..but not to see any of the guys..she came to see Barry one of the staff at Kennedy House..They started to see each other...Barry destroyed his marriage. He got an apartment with Cheryl's sister...Great role models eh?

Hire a cook--with a kid..??

Yup only at Kennedy house ....A Pakistan woman was hired to cook...since it was only a part time job she was allowed to bring her kid with her...He was about 5 or 6....While the mother cooked in the kitchen the kid wondered around the first floor...he was an annoying kid..he cried for his mom all the time...after the 10th checking- in on him..she stopped coming....the kid started to scream...and still she didn't come...well the kid wouldn't shut up...so one of the guys walked over and yelled to shut up...the kid stopped...We went back to watching tv...then the kid started up again....the guy went straight over to the kid and pushed him over...I said hey leave the kid alone...the guy said why he is just a stinky paky...Just leave the kid alone I warned him...Damn of the kid doesn't start to follow the guy around who pushed him...The guy pushed the kid again..and still the kid wouldn't stop bugging the guy...I told the cooks kid to stop bugging the guy....thats when the Mother came in and told me to stop yelling at her child....I said she should take her kid in the kitchen with her as it might not be good for the kid to stay here..She grabbed the kid and took him into the kitchen....of course the kid strayed again...this time the kid was alone with the bigger guy who pushed him in the tv room...the guy started to push him around and kick him --but the damn kid seemed like he liked it ...he kept on coming back ......soon the living room was full of guys taking turns pushing and kicking the kid around the room .. the mother would check in on her son...and he would be laughing --so --she happy that he was being entertained she would go back in the kitchen ...well it carried on till the kid started to hit the guys back that kicked him...so the guys hit him harder...and the kid would hit harder...the game was over...the kid smacked on guy who said he better leave before he really hurts the kid..as He stands up the kid wails him in the nuts....DAMN ...as the guys smacks the kid so hard he goes smashing into the wall....the mother sees the kid go flying into the wall......gathers up her child and just walks out the front door......she too never came back...

oh man --why me..:( --not again...

Here we go again...another new staff member...this guy drove a nice pickup truck...had the running boards..cap...big tires..dual gas tanks...Then we met the owner...this guy was tall.....and skinny...but he had hips...his body was odd...he also had a beard and glasses...Then he spoke...I thought maybe he was joking or something...he spoke like Michael Jackson..he even had a lisp in his speech...Well talk about feeding the lambs to the lions..this guy you just knew what last the week...For some reason he centered me out....what the hell ..eh?? Am I sending out homosexual body language cues..? Whatever ...So this guy is stuck on me....grooming seems to come to mind...great Doug..John...and now this guy...Ok so I am asleep in my room...and I slowly woke up to this guy standing over top of me talking to me in my sleep..with the lights off....I think what am I dreaming or something?...So now I am fully awake and lay there listening..while this guy is talking to me in the middle of the night..he is talking about me putting my pride in my pocket. and just carried on from there to knowing how I feel and how he understands me better then I.....He then slips a note under my pillow...and exits my room...The next day I wake up and wonder did I dream that...I check under my pillow and sure enough there is a note there...Put your pride in your pocket...you are loved...One of the guys--Dave noticed that this --MJ was paying too much attention to me..and how I was ready to go in shock as soon as the MJ approached me....Dave came in my room and asked me what is up ...I told him about MJ and how he comes into my room at night terrorizing me by talking to me while I am asleep...I showed him some of the notes he was sticking under my pillow..Dave was listening while picking up my screw driver...he asked what the hell do you use this for? I said I got it on sale...it seemed like a good deal at the time...Dave said come on lets go outside....and with that he said he had an idea....he grabbed my screwdriver and mallet and we went outside..he slid under the pick-up truck ....I asked him what are you going to do? He said he was going to put a hole in his brake line so when MJ hit the brakes he would crash....and that would teach him to f..k with any of us...I said now hold on Dave this guy is a fruitloop but he could get hurt...I don't think its a good idea..With that Dave said too late....I said shit..Dave this is serious--he can't go out on the road with no brakes...not only could he get hurt, but he might also go out of control and hurt someone else...Dave said so what ...he shouldn't be whispering sweet nothings to guys while they sleep and slip notes under their pillows...I smelt gas...gas was dripping from his truck...man it was pissing out now...Dave what the hell did you do...shit man...Dave laughs and says....I guess it was the gas line and not the brake line....as he was prepared to go under and give it another try....I grabbed the screwdriver and said NO!! thats enough...The next night MJ comes into my room again...He starts to chat...I don't know how long he was there, I fell asleep while he was talking...I woke up as He sat on my bed...ok this is something new....what next...another John repeat....Just then Dave comes into my room, and turns on the light..starts yelling at MJ...WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN HERE WITH THE LIGHTS OFF...AND WHY ARE YOU WHISPERING AND LEAVING NOTES UNDER HIS PILLOW?---MJ--jumps up surprised ...he is holding my screwdriver...he puts it up to his nose and smell it...hey smells like gas..eh Dave? You bet...next time I won't miss the break lines....leave BOB alone..you sick f...k. The next day we found out that MJ quit.......thanks Dave.....:)

Hire the ex-con--what the....?

Well sometimes you hear about a total mistake and you wondered who let it get this far down the road without intervention...this is one of those...
Blue lips---We were introduced to a new staff member...this guy was huge...right from the get go he let everyone know that he was an ex-con...his claim to fame was-- he has been there.....been where? Yup he has been to the big house and he was going to be our inside guide to the prison system....his message was either shape up or you will also go down that road to hell...Well he carried the 'tough love' too far...the guys lost respect for the con...He was suffering from a heart problem which caused his lips to be blue in colour...As soon as he tried to assert himself as a staff member...the guys that were an hour ago sitting around the table listening to his every word as he described the 'big house' turned the tables on him...I was in the other room not interested in his prison tales..but could feel that something was in the air....started off with one of the guys not wanting to do his chores..so blue lips ordered him to finish his chores...Well with that the guy let loose ...He said why the hell should he listen to a jail bird...then finished off the verbal assault with addressing him as blue lips...That was the beginning the guys went wild and all joined in ...almost to a chant they surrounded blue lips....circling in ...blue lips felt the weight of the crowd...with that he broke...he got up and grabbed the chair and whipped it behind him...tossing it like it weighed nothing...the chair hit the kitchen wall and the steel legs folded and twisted like it was run over by a truck....The wall had also sported a new dent from the attack..With that all the guys backed off....oh yeah he got their attention alright...he cracked...and almost as if everyone knew --at the same time this guy wasn't right for this crowd.....'blue lips' packed up and never returned..

Continued--child labor-part 3

She said that she liked to work, it was fun and she also met interesting people...as she gave me a kiss on the cheek................her dad arrived home a couple of hours later..Sue said to wait in her room till she had a chance to talk to her father.. After awhile she bounced in and grabbed my hand in hers and half dragged me out to meet her father...He was a big man...tall..he had a drink in front of him....and was on the phone to his office to look up Ted's license information...As if on instinct he knew that someone as seedy as Ted would have a spotted inspection record for his operations. Happy that he had what he needed, he called the airport and booked me a flight....I told him that I didn't have any money that Ted wasn't going to pay me.....he laughed....we will see about that...Sue also laughed too....reassuring me that her dad knew how to handle people like Ted...Sue's dad drained his drink and said ok....lets go....so we all packed up and headed out to the car..We arrived at the ex..the guard stopped us and Sue's dad flashed his inspectors license and we all got in with no problems. We headed to the tent...spotted Ted and he says well now what do we have here....daughter brought her daddy to collect her pay...well I already told ya young lady ...you don't get paid till closing.....Sue's dad motioned Ted to sit down...and then told Sue and I to go say goodbye to all of your co-workers. All the staff was watching as Ted was telling Sue's dad how it was to be....Sue's dad took out his id...and passed it to Ted...you could see how Ted's jaw dropped...now that the ball was in our court..it was time for the serve...WE were motioned to come back to the table. We sat down as Ted was blubbering to Sue's dad...his demeanor had changed and he seemed to be sitting in the folded chair a little lower...So he again asked about my pay..this time Ted whipped out a huge wad of money...and started peeling off 20's--he said here you go..and I will even through in todays pay...even though I skipped out on him taking his best waitress with me....Sue's dad inquired about the plane fare home....Ted was starting to shift in his seat and grow a little taller...Sue 's dad started to ask Ted about his seating capacity of the tent...and about his last inspection...how he had some warnings...and if he corrected any of the violations yet....Ted sunk back down into his chair and keep peeling of the 20"s...He finished giving me all of my money and now he said that he would like to pay Sue now also...As he peeled off the 20's for Sue he started to say to her that He was sure she would sleep sound tonight knowing what she did here tonight...She said yes indeed she would....Ted started to whine and Sue's dad stood up and said well I think we all got what we needed to...and with that he said it was nice doing business with Ted..and he would be pleased to take a personal interest in Ted's licensing affairs while in Manitoba..with that Ted shut up and we left...we drove to the airport and my plane was boarding....there was no time for proper goodbyes so we just kinda hugged and I ran for the departure gates. When I arrived back into Toronto... There was no way for me to get home, I called and called I assumed that Ted would have called the home telling them that I was coming home...but he didn't...I called the house and still no answer....I slept at the airport in the chairs and waited for the buses to start running again...headed home ...of coarse no one was there...so I went over to a friends house..finally I was instructed to head over to Kennedy road house..on Kennedy rd.

Continued--child labor-part 2

The daylight hours flew by most likely because our poor livers couldn't dilute all the alcohol. Man all the partying at night was starting to wear me out....by day 3 it felt normal to sleep in till 12pm..work your ass off all day and finally take your first break at 1am when the park closed...bloody slave labor....more like child labor...Then we would break out the booze. One night--morning one of the Kennedy road guys was in our trailer drinking...we were all baked and this guy wouldn't go back to his trailer..finally he leaves...we are all passing out when he reappears entering the trailer again..he hands one of the guys a beer...and says here you go...finish this one beer and I promise I will leave...so the guy goes to take a swig and he feels the bottle is warm,,, he spits it out and says what the f..k you pissed in this ...didn't you...well with that the guys is all proud of himself --I lean over my wooden bunk and call him a low life piece of shit..who would piss in a bottle of beer and then offer it to someone to drink...with that one of the older guys finally kicked his ass out of our trailer....Morning came and and went we were all greeted with our cheery bossman Ted..."get your f...king asses up--- drink all night is fine but be ready to work the next day."I wanted to ask him how his back was...mine was killing me sleeping on a wooden bunk is losing its zest and what made it worst was knowing that Ted was all refreshed sleeping in a nice comfy hotel bed..
The rest of the tent staff were getting along fine...I really liked this girl Sue..and she seemed to like me also..we were hitting it off really good...she and I were slowly shutting out everyone else making our world smaller...Ted even saw her hanging around my pop machine so he ordered her to waitress on the other side of the tent...didn't matter though she still came to my side to get the drinks customers ordered...even though the other pop guy was closer. The low life that pissed in the beer was giving me the hairy eye-ball ....I just gave it back to him...I then asked him why he would do that to a fellow Kennedy house resident...he told me to go f..k myself...by this time it was known between both tents what he did....everyone was giving the guy shit.....he also seemed to be jealous of Sue paying attention to me also...He was showing her the American coins he got from the customers and he said that for every American coin he would take and replace with a Canadian one....Somehow this seemed like stealing ....I questioned him as to why he felt that he could do that...he said that Ted wasn't getting ripped off...he wanted so much for the food so he got the price he.wanted....and the customers paid for the food and they paid ..so they got what they paid for...he was just replacing the American coins with the Canadian one..and would wrap the coins up and would make extra money once he cashed them at the bank...Well he seemed all proud of himself again with this little con...we all thought it was too much work for the rewards...
Sue was over at my pop machine again...chatting while suppertramp was blasting ...my fillings seemed to be getting lose with every start of bloody well right so now they seemed to be floating in my mouth as the album looped again....My mom gave me a 50 cent piece ..I carried with me kinda as my good luck charm...I pulled it out showing Sue how it was working as it caused us meet...the beer pissing guy also saw me pull out the coin...said hey where did you get that...I said my mom gave it to me...why? He then said most likely I stoled it...most likely some customer paid for their pop with it and I stuck it in my pocket.....I said just because he was a low life criminal doesn't mean everyone was....with that he shut up.....Ted seemed to stick around tonight instead of heading out to the hotel....he waited till all the tables were cleaned then had everyone gather around....he said that he had found out that someone was stealing and fired their ass...Everyone looked around and and took note of who was missing....it was one of his set-up/tear down and maintenance guys.We all knew of him, but no one really knew him...he was kinda of quiet..the only time I remembered him was when there was a wind storm and it was so windy that the tents were ripping, so he suggested that they move the trailers to block the wind this idea saved the tents...Well with one man short we all would have to take up the slack ....so we all had to put in more effort...With that he said meeting over...tear down tomorrow night....after the fair closes...we can sleep while on the road...because we should be rested up so when we get to the nest fair we set-up because there was no way he was going to be shelling out money for motel rooms........
The next day...Ted was arrived early he called another meeting and he this time asked me where I got my 50 cent piece...I said I got it from my Mom,,,, and it was my good luck charm...he said yeah right...He said that I would be going back to Toronto after tear-down...if I didn't hand it over to him....I said it would be a could day in hell before I give it to him....He said thats fine...I will be going home and He wasn't going to cover my plane fare home...and because I didn't last the whole season...I would have to pay for my plane fare out here....therefore I wouldn't be getting any pay...I again said that I didn't steal from him...that the coin was mine ,,,but he insisted he knew he was right............Sue also knew that I didn't steal it...and tried to step in to talk to Ted...but he said what is going on here...He said that I should keep my girlfriend quiet or she too will be fired too...With that everyone worked silently...tension was in the air....Ted could see that we all were starting to whisper and everyone was starting to look him straight in the eye...for a boss that ruled by fear he could see that he was about to have a mutiny on his hands...the only one that was working was beer bottle pissing guy...he said something to Ted and Ted said shut up you idiot this all started with you....damn beer bottle pisser set me up--shit!!....Ted started to yell and treat everyone like shit...finally Sue said lets leave...So I got my clothes and we left....We got on the bus and Sue reached over and held my hand and said its ok..you will see my dad will fix everything...We arrived at her home in no time...It was huge...I asked her...you guys rich ?? She said they do pretty good, her dad works for the government. I asked her why she had to work

Unsupervised child labor

Summertime in the city, and time for the house to close down to save Ed some money, but no worries he has been in contact with someone who said he had work for as many guys as Ed could provide. It involved transferring the boys out of Ontario and across Canada. The idea of it was to give the guys some real work experience and most likely introduce most to the only people who would hire them. One of the requirements was to have short hair, working with food all had to be up to code. I laughed yes all must be legal......as I wondered being a ward of the children's aid how they would feel if they found out about its wards and charges crossing provincial borders under the care of a carnival business man? Yes meet Ted--We arrived at his farm to view his two semi-trucks which would be our home, and house the tents and equipment while on the road. Our first fair would be in Manitoba--the Red River Ex. It was explained to us that he would drive the trucks out early and set up due to school being let out when it did , he had to set up to be ready for the ex on opening day..so we would have to fly out to Manitoba to catch up with him....after that we would tear down-travel across Manitoba and hit the next province etc.set up .. Till we would work our way back to Ontario. This was a full time summer job. Hmm where would we sleep while we were on the fair grounds, he said here come take a look....with that we went to the trucks...Wow what pieces of shit these rigs were, rust holes in the floor...and mirrors falling off...Ted seem to read what I was thinking...he said don't worry you won't even recognize the trucks once he throws on a coat of paint and fixes the holes..We inspected the trailers and he said see where the stuff is stored on the bunks shelves...once they set up the tent this trailer will be empty so you throw your sleeping bag on the wood and thats your sleeping quarters...I don't get it we are to sleep in a storage trailer..no windows one freight door and one man door..in the summer time? The more I saw the more I didn't want to go...Then I found out that no staff were going on this cross Canada adventure...I didn't like Ted..he was very rough type of guy..swore all the time...and just didn't seem like the type of guy that should be left in charge of a bunch of youths.....Upon arriving home the other guys were happy at the thought of crossing Canada working in a carnival..I was not..I voiced this to Kathy and she said that I had no choice but to go as they were doing the annual close down of the home and there would be no staff here therefore no kids....I kinda of thought about that and said whats the difference, there will be no staff on this cross Canada adventure either.....I was told again I had no choice but to go..the matter was closed as the kids going camping were already planned and all spaces filled and the Kennedy road house was full. So with that one of the staff said that they would save the house money and give everyone a buzz cut as per heath code for working at Teds fair fast food restaurant. So out on the porch a kitchen chair was dragged out.......And one after another the guys who were going were given the buzz cut......damn as my hair was being cut I thought this is it ...I am really going on this trip....A tear hit the table cloth they used for a drape over me -- I said that some hair got in my eye and it was tearing up........
Well the day arrived and all going were driven off to the airport. We caught a flight to Winnipeg Manitoba....The pilot looked like he was in some movie airplane.....he beamed brightly at being recongnized and said why yes he did....he sat down on the arm of the chair and chatted with us about his movie experience....I think someone even got his autograph...man he was there a long time...I asked who is flying the plane...he said the co-pilot...I said oh....I was wishing the guys would stop asking the pilot about his movie career and let him get back to flying the damn plane....this being my first airplane ride I was very nervous as it was...and having the pilot sitting there on the arm of the seats back with us was making me more nervous..finally he finished bragging about the movies he appeared in and went back to the cock-pit....
We arrived in Manitoba and were picked up by Ted...he said that the trailer was still not fully unloaded so he would have to waste the money and get a hotel room for us......One hotel room I asked he said yeah, what the f...k he hadn't even made any money yet this season and already he had to shell out money looking after us....don't be asking for any breakfast in the morning we will be starting out to the fair early and we can eat there...tent one should be up and running by the time we get there....well with that we unrolled our sleeping bags and fell asleep....We packed up early and arrived at the Red River Ex.. We were escorted to the site...right away Ted started to swear and yell and his fair hands as nothing seemed to be done. The second tent wasn't even unpacked yet.....The hell I am going to pay for a f...king hotel room again for those guys as he motions over to us....with that he barks orders to everyone...we start setting up the tent. One lead hand says to me to hold this two foot spike straight while he sledge hammers it in.....I look at him as if he is nuts....I will not kneel there holding this spike while he takes over the head swings aiming at this little spike head....Ted yells get the f...k out of the way you pecker head. He tells the lead hand to hold the spike and Ted drives the spike in...one hit...two hits...damn three hits and it is in through the pavement. I wonder who repairs the holes in the parking lot after the ex is finished.....I ask Ted as he is still laughing at putting the spike in 3 hits.......he says who gives a f...k. Man we work till midnight...how can there be so much work involved in setting up a tent....This tent was huge though...must be able to seat hundreds...we all sat down at the tables we finished unpacking...he surveyed his tent finally set up..said good...get to f...k to sleep we still have alot of work to do. We climbed into the trailer we just finished unloading....and passed out. Second day we slept till 9am....wow we got to sleep in....someone asks where was Ted the boss? The lead hand says what you think he stays here...he sleeps at the hotel....great....well I hope he slept well. We arrive at the first tent and they have breakfast on....We eat then Ted arrives and he wonders why the second tent tables aren't cleaned yet? He starts to bark orders.....I was wiping down a table and he says to me what the f...k are you doing....he yanks the cloth out of my hand and says to use your full hand to wipe, not just a corner of the cloth...with that he says to everyone.HEY EVERYONE HE SNAPS..that I was useless at even table cleaning and I should be shown that if you don't give your all...you to will be punished... you are here to work...not a f..king holiday great I was going to be used as an example to everyone...he tells me to follow him to the back of the trailer and I was given a knife and my chore was to peel this biggest bag of onions I every seen. he said to be not get any of the meat of the onions and to just peel the skins off...and he will be checking on my progress....To this day I gag if I smell onions...I couldn't get the flipping smell of onions off my hands no matter how many times I washed my hands...and I had small onion cuts...that started to hurt...he says on one of his progress rounds that I was to get something to eat...and to learn how to work the coke machines....Well it looks as if everyone was given jobs to do....cooks, bus boys...and me the coke guy. That day lots of girls arrived on site--this was to be our waitresses...Ted says he hires the good looking ones..it helps draw in the people...damn as soon as we all dawn our waiter waitress uniforms the people start arriving...I am beside the horror house that has supertramp crime of the century on a loop...damn how many times can they play that...lots as I found out throughout the week....My job was to serve the waitresses when the sit down customers order the drinks...to fill their orders and also for serving the walk-buys........We had another coke machine on the other side of the tent with a Manitobian manning that machine....he was yelling ice cold pop.....get your ice cold pop here......and just like supertramp he yelled that like he was on a loop. I thought to my self there was no way I was going to battle the fun house supertramp and yell that silly line out....Ted at the end of the day...counts my cups and says that the other guy sold 30 more pops then I....I said it was most likely due to the sit-in customers as I couldn't see how yelling out ice cold pop could draw people in....He said ok....tomorrow you work his machine....that night a guy sold us alcohol..for only a couple of bucks mark up...damn you could get anything from a carnnie...they even had drugs but as far as I knew no one bought any....man we drunk...and drunk...Till. we got drunk...well with no adult supervision these guys went wild.....they went cruising for parties at the other rides and tents. I had all the mix I wanted from the coke machines...they came back to get some more mix...and said to come with them...they met this guy who had a small costume jewelry booth and he had this chick who was hot....We slowly made our way back to the booth...I said its closed maybe the guy hit the sack...like I should.....he says naw come on....we left up the flap and see them making out on a mattress in the middle of the booth...her boobs were flying like she was a cow girl riding a bronco....she was aware of the crowd and seemed to enjoy putting on the show.....the guy finally says he man can you guys give us a minute here............we all close the flaps and then a minute later the girl says ok...its clear....as she is smoking on top of the wet mattress...the guy is trying to get up but slips...damn as he holds up a sticky hand...she's hot eh?....they start chatting with us...and the girl asks us if we have any money....as she left a leg showing her dark patch.....The guys explain that we don't get paid till the end of the week...she says that you all come back then...ok ........all of you's ok...and with that we went back to our fresh air deprived trailer and passed out....