17 and time to move out....

I am in grade 12 and exams are just around the corner...the stress of living in this hostile house is weighing down on me...I think I have been through alot in this 4 and half years that I called this house home..Instead of building young boys into confident responsible men...the goal seems to be how to beat the soul and spirit out of these young bucks....How many guys that have gone through Kennedy house's doors have made it....Ok make it easier how many have stayed out of jail..? Not many. Still the world revolves around money..so Ed was not going to be pulling in any more money from the children's aid for anyone who is over 18..so out they go..and to make sure they are out and he doesn't have to carry them ...he gives ya the boot before your 18 birthday. So like I said with exams around the corner...I was told to look for an apartment....I said how was I to pay the rent? Kathy said that I would be given student welfare..Till I finished grade 12...I said what about after that...She said as far as going on to further my education...she didn't see that as an option...best that once I finished school to look for a job..Immediately. I asked about the 25% of my pay she has socked away when do I receive that...she said sorry but that money went back into the house..but I said that when we were told to give her 25%of our pay when we were forced to work the summer and also whenever I worked --hell they even took Tyrones 25% when he slaved all day selling dicky dee ice cream it would be returned to us upon leaving the house so of like a hope chest--funds to sock away for a rainy day..She went into do you know how much it costs to keep me here....She said that I would find out once I was on my own.At this point we we in the little house office...it was the 0pening to the old stairwell to the attic...but they blocked it up when they took out the stairs..the same stairs that a worker 4 years before fell through when they were fixing up the attic..he fell through and his feet were dangling.good thing his crotch stopped the fail...ouch.as I recalled that day..I was brought back to Kathy blabbing about how the funding worked and how the hell do you think they paid for the movies at the bijou..Just then YUK..she let one go...I said what the hell man..She wasn't embarrassed as Kathy told me what do you think woman don't fart ...I said I know woman do , but maybe she just felt that she didn't think of me as anyone important and did it to emphize her disrespect she had for me as she didn't say oops or sorry or pardon me.What she said next seemed to backed it up..She also said that once I left I was to call first...as she didn't see any reason why I would drop by she said someone would greet you at the front door and I would have to have a good reason to enter the home...as she couldn't think of any she said once I moved out it was time to say goodbye and good luck..The next day a newspaper was purchased and I was to go through the want ads looking for a new place to live....I checked out a couple of places...but they were all dives..or filled with party people ...one place you could even smell the weed....Finally found a shared condo....price was right and they even said that I could use the mattress on the floor if I wanted...it was all set the move out was to began as soon as possible.....no going away parties...no visit from ED....nothing---here's your hat.........It was really lonely being dumped like that....the condo was quiet....to quiet....I couldn't sleep...I had to study for my exams....I had to stay focused and also had to look for a job....I did ok on my exams....I passed grade 12.....I even won the Canadian Manufactures Award --I still wonder why I was told that it was not an option to carry on with my education...as afact that I passed grade 12 with honors and even won an award too..why didn't I qualify to carry on with my education? I had high hopes of going to college or University ...Shit what do I do now? Rent has to be paid....I wondered how I was to do that I had to find a job....but quick that was for sure....I needed new clothes as I was starting to lose weight...well shit I didn't even know how to turn the stove on....no wonder I was losing weight...I called my sister and she said that I needed help and I would have to call social services and get Welfare...So I called social services and a nice worker came over...I said that I need to get some clothes and bus fare...and rent money....Till I found a job...I told Her That I figured maybe 2 months...she said sure no problem....I said how long do I have Till I had to pay back the money....she laughed and said hey thats cute....she said that I didn't have to pay back the government. Strange I thought hell --why would anyone want to get off it if you didn't have to pay it back (to this day I still ask this question)......I said ok.....So I got my cheque and bought a new pair of safety boots because everyone was saying that I would need them.....And a bus pass as it was cheaper in the long run instead of tickets....I found a job...I got the welfare check for the second month and called my welfare social worker and said that I haven't cashed it ......so should I send it back..so laughed again and said no....go out and buy your some new clothes for my job....and have some lunch money....I thanked her for helping me...