Reporting to the children's Aid Society

Damn eh...This abuse stuff is kinda of tricky...You remember the events and the emotions and even the smells of his after shave the feel of his hot breath as he breaths heavily on you neck..The same intense emotion felt that day is relieved again...These flashbacks really suck....Anyway I in my raw emotional flash back state contacted the children's aid society with such urgency as if they somehow could reach back in time and fix the situation. I feel a bit foolish. I hope Melanie at CAS would excuse my ramblings. I even took out of the library a couple of books on child survivors of abuse, One book, Boys don't cry, and another Gardens of Shame...I even got so despaired that no one was doing anything that I thought maybe I hadn't reported the people involved correctly I e-mailed Cathy Vine the author who wrote Gardens of Shame and she even did my the honor of visiting my blog. She did give me useful information on how to report the abuses I went through drawing on her main subject character Martin in her book. She said that the way I should introduce the issues and events should be the same as Martin where he gathered his paperwork and just reported the incidents to the police..in a simplified manner..not as a diary as I have done here...I thought since I was under the care of the CAS at the time..they would just take up the cause and represent me in this whole matter...I guess thats not how it works eh...? One thing I did get out of the books is the person who exposed the Christian brothers of sexual abuse said all he got for his troubles was to see a couple of old priests get sentenced for a couple of years and the settlement was extremely small and even that he had to fight for including the medical support he needed that he again had to fight for...Mcann said if he had the option of doing it over again ..he wouldn't have reported the abuse..And as for Martin Kruze he jumped to his death off a bridge 2 weeks after his moleslester confessed to his abuses in court. I guess I should go back to why I am writing these memories down...I for one want to dump them out of my mind...and also reading that the two Kennedy house staff social workers sexual abused 2 kids at their uxbridge home..It brought out guilt that if I had of made more of an effort instead of just contacting Edward who had alot to lose if he followed up on my allegations at the time as he was building the largest empire of youth services houses but instead , ED just sweeped them under the carpet and didn't report the crimes, kinda of reminds of you of Star Trek-where Spock says "the needs of the many don't outweigh the needs of the one" lol or something like that..Oh yeah back to hearing about the 2 kids who got abused at the uxbridge home...that got me mad that somehow it might be my fault these kids got abused then it got me to thinking about all those kids who were further abused by John, Kathy, Doug, Mrs. Sheppard...and on ...and on...My abusers are not old men yet , and if I don't press charges then they could be working still in the child care profession and further abusing kids..I don't want that to happen..as I would really be mad at myself...I did give all the full names to the children's Aid Society so if they were working in the child care industry it would now fall upon CAS as guilty as I redflagged them as risks...Can I wash my hands of all this and now focus on my life again..? As to EDWARD he pissed me off so much by not reporting them that I even sent him an E-mail, and a link to this blog so he could read about how much harm the people under him were doing...Anyway I am tired...